THIRD PLACE


LILA CUTTER
FIRST RESPONDER

When I saw him          in the water I could feel                      the offness
did not want to use the word              body                           

 

hoped for    a snorkel    more presence than     the bobbing    I could see hoped for 

       

a reason          

to be                                        face down in paradise

 

I saw               swam             urgency lapping
at my chest          arrived            the silence                  the nervous touch
 

ocean               empty

 
though others swam paces away               no one noticed           

no one came                          no one listened             

 

I have never felt          such loneliness          


couldn’t hold               the weight of him alone                                 

 

finally locked eyes      got someone to understand

then every one surged       from the saltwater     

to carry            his body          to shore

 

it took              time                 to not feel

water                                          death

death                                          water

 

a lateness lapping     rocking     lulling    bobbing    
unsteady     unstable    warp    

 

now I try                      to move with                          water              
I want to wade through           this world        with eyes open

Lila J. Cutter teaches poetry at the Attic Institute and Oregon State University, where she received her MFA. Lila’s work can be found in Stoneboat Literary Journal, The Shore, Sugar House Review, The Citron Review, and Ursus Americanus Press, among others. Lila’s poetry often centers on perceptions of femininity and considerations of home, which for her is both the West Coast and Midwest.

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