JEN MCCONnELL

FAMILY VACATION DICTIONARY

Bagism / The mistaken belief, as you check in six pieces of luggage at the airport, that you remembered everything you’ll need.

Shamemist / The middle-class guilt you feel during the taxi ride through poor neighborhoods that evaporates as soon as you step inside the resort.

Verandont / The balcony you insisted on when booking the resort but will never use during the vacation.

Alcothesia / When you forget—mid-argument—why you were fighting with your spouse and concede the point so you can enjoy the free cocktail hour.

Serensalti / The first taste of a perfectly balanced mouthful of flavor. Example: The sweet, sour and salty euphoria of a sublime margarita on the rocks.

Glowful / The aura of contentment when something enjoyable is finished, such as an intense sexual encounter or an amazing meal that you didn’t prepare.

Vistadread / When you are halfway through an enjoyable activity and it seems like the end is only moments away. Examples: vacation, an intense sexual encounter, a pitcher of serensalti margaritas.

Alarm-sigh / The panic followed by relief you feel when you wake up on vacation thinking you’re late for work but can roll over and go back to sleep.

Ringlong / The memory of wanting to be married. [Antonym] Alonetion / The memory of reading a book uninterrupted.

Momflog / The regret you instantly feel after yelling at your kids in public.

Slowm / A leisurely yet focused swimming stroke that implies you always stay at hotels with swim-up bars.

Wist / The warmth you feel when you catch your children playing together sweetly and you let dinner grow cold because you don’t want to interrupt the moment.

Lovestrong / The security you feel when you smile at your spouse over the heads of your children and know that, despite the rough times, you can always count on each other.

Grittle / The grains of sand that continue to appear in your home weeks after vacation is over.

Pangst / The comfort of being back home mixed with the desire to travel again.

Youthache / The hope that your kids are old enough to remember this trip. [Secondary use] The fear that you’ve wasted all this money on a trip your kids won’t remember.

Jen McConnell is the author of the story collection Welcome, Anybody, published by Press 53. Her fiction has recently appeared, or is upcoming, in Red Rock Review, Sequestrum, Santa Fe Literary Review, DASH and other fine publications. She earned her MFA from Goddard College in Vermont. Currently, she serves as Fiction Editor for The Bookends Review.